"I've Been Glutened"

Proof it's a word and Yes people use it. (Facepalm)

You may or may have not heard of the term glutened. Today we find a three day old gluten pregnancy. 👼One of the many gluten bellies that my wife has had over the years. It’s almost like a new member of our family that comes and goes every now and then like a distant cousin that keeps asking for money 😁. This gluten baby comes fully equipped with outstanding bouts of constipation followed by diarrhea ☄️and earth shattering farts from the cosmos🍑💨 🌌 Just a small warning to any young guy out there if she starts saying she can't eat wheat or lactose intolerant be sure you can handle being woken up at 4am to a giant rip. I honestly have no problem it makes it an even game for me. I can finally drop a fart bomb in the car windows closed and my wife will laugh but not take any offense. SHE KNOWS WHAT SHES DONE TO ME ! Either way there is really no one to blame here. We can all understand that people with gluten allergies along with other allergies can all be annoying and seem snotty. Yes, they ask for too much entirely. Yes, they always look "worried and afraid" as I always say. And, Yes they seem like they dislike almost all waiters. I always believed in these, if-you-are-anti-gluten-go-home-and-make-your-own-meal ideals (I know too many dashes). "Ugh why are they even at the restaurant!" I would say to myself, but now that I love someone that suffers the same problems I actually get mad when the waiter or server is uncooperative when my wife asks about the dairy and gluten free options on the menu. Let us go back to my "worried and afraid" comment, and let us imagine the fear of knowing you will not be able to sleep at night, have constant diarrhea and possibly vomit based on a simple food decision. Oh wait I forgot to mention the 24 hour headaches and burps that come mixed with this decision at TGIFridays for example. This is my suggestion for everyone suffering from any allergy described above or not DONT TRUST YOUR WAITER! Make sure you won't suffer and forever be "annoying" and ask about everything. The world won't end and yes ALL YOU gluten free, dairy free, nut allergic, vegan, celiac, IBS having, men and women need to put yourselves first at that restaurant or bar because after all YOU are the Number ONE priority to any restaurant you may frequent.

It's better to say "Sorry I was a bitch" than "I've been Glutened"

My wife "Glutened"